The Damsel Independent: the other role.

Now we’re all familiar with the term “damsel in distress” the young woman who sets traps where she puts herself in danger and awaits a hero to rescue her .. She portrays herself to be weak, and fragile in hopes of a strong man to save her.. Now this tactic works wonders because man as we all know, loves to be a savior. Man loves to protect and provide security. They jump at the chance to throw their cape on, save a young woman in her time of need … Distressed damsel pays off very well in most cases.

But to me playing distressed can leave you stressed. As a woman, we play weak too long, we become that. We don’t lift a finger, we lay there and eventually in awaiting our savior we lose use of our limbs … We become dependent on this savior. Any savior. It gets to the point where all we know is how to set traps to reel in potential saviors, but that’s not fool proof.

It’s like fishing in the same spot, you don’t know what you’re gonna catch, you gotta wait for what comes around… but you gotta catch something for survival.. Anything to live. And that’s where it becomes fucked up… Some men are actual saviors others, portray that to fuel their egos. I won’t get into that.

I want to speak of the other role, the role I know way too well.

The independent damsel: the other role. This is a woman who works for hers, she doesn’t use her energy or skills to set traps but to build her foundation, to set up her life to benefit her and everyone in it. This is a woman who is strong, or portrays to be strong, head held up even in times of distress, she doesn’t lay on tracks, she stays on track and keeps it moving, despite the obstacles put in her way.. She’ll move blocks instead of waiting for a hero to come.. Now the beauty in this role, even if the woman is pretending to be strong, eventually, she’ll become strong… She’ll become better instead of stagnant as would the distressed damsel. The independent damsel doesn’t stress nor dwell on what is going wrong, she pushes forward to get through it.
With or without man.

Man sees this and wants to be her savior, wants to ease her load.. Not because she needs it, but because she deserves it. Man sees this woman is a queen.. Not a leech. He sees her pushing forward and wants to help her progress, in helping her progress, so does he. He is motivated by her drive, a woman who will stop at nothing .. When many would stop at anything, pout and cry. But nope, this woman keeps her poker face even as her world crumbles, man sees this.. He realizes he needs this. She is a reflection of man. This is better than ego, this is destiny. This is how empires are built. This is how fate is revealed. Only real man can spot the independent damsel for who she is. The imposter of man would believe she is too strong to need a man, too focused to cater to a man.. Dismiss her for the damsel in distress, the one that caters to his weak ego. But the right man, the real man.. Knows this woman is thinking ahead, knowing she’s thinking of the future family she may not have yet.. Her purpose on earth. He can see this. He wants to feed this, feed her. Encourage her growth knowing without even trying she’s encouraging his.

I believe this role is the most beneficial of the two… It’s a harder role to play, but when it’s embedded in you, doesn’t seem so hard at all. It’s like second nature.. You don’t feel right playing damsel in distress, lord knows you tried. It’s not you. You’re independent without man, with man, you’re unstoppable. To have someone of your equal by your side. But you don’t need him to survive. You just need him to continue building, to continue expanding. On both ends.

In life we play roles, we become roles.. The people we attract from these roles we play, play a key factor in our progression or our demise.

You are what you attract.

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Hunger.

Have you ever been hungry? I mean like really hungry? No food in sight, no idea when you’ll eat.. How you’ll eat.. What you’ll eat?

That’s hunger. The craving to fulfill a necessity within you needed to survive.

I know what it’s like to be actually physically hungry to the point of starving… And I’ll never forget those times, some were caused by circumstances, others sheer stubbornness on my behalf. Either way I know that feeling. And it’s very intense… Which makes me think of another type of hunger.

I’m hungry, and I don’t mean hungry for food, although I’m always eating lol I become a super bitch if I don’t get food in time, only to reveal the angel once I’m fed. But I’m not speaking of actual digestive food.

I’m hungry for success. I’m hungry for power. I’m fucking starving. I’m not even looking for food, food is all around (I speak of food in a metaphoric sense) .. I’m looking for the tools to cook, I’m searching for that kitchen with the good stove and pots. I’m working towards building up the perfect meal to satisfy my hunger, to an extent.

The little snacks I eat, are a fucking tease. They are just enough to give me the energy to cook up the real meal. The snacks remind me of how hungry I am, and how I can’t live off snacks.. I need to eat, I need to be able to feed me and mine. I need to fulfill that hunger as bad as I need to breathe.

But I don’t want to get full too soon… Getting full gives you the “itis” and that makes you lazy, you slack off .. You want a nap, and we don’t have time to sleep at this point. Well, at least I don’t. I’ve slept enough, so much that hunger tripled when I awoke. That hunger fuels you to find what it desires, but once you become stuffed on your desires… You become satisfied to the extent where you stop dead in your tracks… I don’t want to stop. But I have no worries about stopping, I’m hungry… No signs of being full any time soon.

I love seeing others just as hungry, if not hungrier than me.. It’s so motivating .. We are starving. Not even for attention, or recognition like many of our peers.. But starving for a change, starving for the revolution to better ourselves and this sick world we live in all at the same damn time. It’s not hard to tell who’s who. There’s levels to this hunger shit.. (No I won’t use a hunger games cliche reference) ..

We’re all hungry. Hungry for different things. But the shallow hunger is not real hunger, my mother always used to say, don’t eat with your eyes… You end up eating more than you can chew, by the time you realize you’re eating with your eyes, you’ve become lazy.

The real hunger, comes from your core.. Your soul rumbles like if you missed breakfast and now you’re at work and lunch is 4 hours away.. But your stomach not trying to hear that. That’s hunger. Your soul is not trying to hear that you’re satisfied with your life and where you are at… You’re a liar and your soul knows and won’t be quiet. It’s rumbling and grumbling, it needs to be fed. Feed it.

Shit real.

Are you hungry? Will a snickers satisfy your hunger? Or a full course meal? You decide.

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Shit real.

So I’m just regrouping, reflecting…

I’m doing a lot. Not enough in my eyes, but I’m definitely making moves, small steps become big leaps… All in due time.

I’m so aware of what I need and don’t need, what I’m surrounding myself with, how much farther I need to go. Shit is real.

I’ve been working hard to be smarter about my movements, putting in sweat to ensure my foundation is properly secure. For me it’s tricky, I kept putting actual dates, knowing damn well I’m not on earth time. I set myself up for failure when I do that.. I set these deadlines and when I don’t reach them I feel resentment towards myself.. I had to realize, in order to get rid of that resentment I had to do two things: one, stop putting deadlines based on dates, but rather deadlines based on movements, actions that reveal their own dates as time progresses… Two, stop beating myself up when I should be motivating myself more when I feel down.

I’m the type if I’m down, I’ll rub my face in it til it hurts. I used to think it was helpful, but it was kinda self-sadistic of myself. Certainly not helpful as I look back on it. I’m getting better.
I realized I don’t have to beat myself down to move forward, I just have to push myself harder forward, not down in the dirt. I don’t have to feel resentment when I don’t accomplish something in the exact timing I want, because I’m not stopping so it just means, my timing was off … My work isn’t. My work is progressing in ways that tell me, fuck time. Everything will come together and reveal itself exactly when it should. Just keep working. Perfect the craft. All around.

I feel ready, but I know I’m not. I’m not ready for all that awaits me, but I’m working towards it everyday. And each day that passes, I become more ready.. I become better equipped to deal with everything I’m building.

I know what I’m striving for, it’s all that consumes my mind, all the time I have to myself, is spent working on one thing or another.. And all those things combined make up the big picture. I can’t devote any focus on anything else.. My soul won’t allow it. My desires are tooo alive and pulsing rapidly as I work. The heartbeat is vital for my destiny.

I only share these thoughts, a portion of what crosses my mind.. With the feeling of certainty I’m not the only one, I know each and everyone of us are on a path to self fulfillment. Converting dreams to reality, pushing to be better than we were labeled to be. We all have these desires, no matter how different they might be, we all have them. My thing is to show people you don’t have to stop, you don’t have to put your deepest desires on the back burner and settle for something that you feel is more “realistic”.. Honey let me tell you, There’s nothing more realistic than realizing your dreams. Living the life you’ve dreamed of, being the person you know truly and deeply you are. Despite “circumstances”, despite “obstacles”, you can over come all of that and reach that point where your soul is at peace and your mind agrees.

It’s a journey, and at times that journey will get more difficult than you can fathom, but damn you if you stop. Don’t ignore that gut feeling to keep going. It’ll all be worth it in the end. The only way you’ll see that is once you get there, you already feel it… Push through that until you see it.

Shit real.

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