Now we’re all familiar with the term “damsel in distress” the young woman who sets traps where she puts herself in danger and awaits a hero to rescue her .. She portrays herself to be weak, and fragile in hopes of a strong man to save her.. Now this tactic works wonders because man as we all know, loves to be a savior. Man loves to protect and provide security. They jump at the chance to throw their cape on, save a young woman in her time of need … Distressed damsel pays off very well in most cases.
But to me playing distressed can leave you stressed. As a woman, we play weak too long, we become that. We don’t lift a finger, we lay there and eventually in awaiting our savior we lose use of our limbs … We become dependent on this savior. Any savior. It gets to the point where all we know is how to set traps to reel in potential saviors, but that’s not fool proof.
It’s like fishing in the same spot, you don’t know what you’re gonna catch, you gotta wait for what comes around… but you gotta catch something for survival.. Anything to live. And that’s where it becomes fucked up… Some men are actual saviors others, portray that to fuel their egos. I won’t get into that.
I want to speak of the other role, the role I know way too well.
The independent damsel: the other role. This is a woman who works for hers, she doesn’t use her energy or skills to set traps but to build her foundation, to set up her life to benefit her and everyone in it. This is a woman who is strong, or portrays to be strong, head held up even in times of distress, she doesn’t lay on tracks, she stays on track and keeps it moving, despite the obstacles put in her way.. She’ll move blocks instead of waiting for a hero to come.. Now the beauty in this role, even if the woman is pretending to be strong, eventually, she’ll become strong… She’ll become better instead of stagnant as would the distressed damsel. The independent damsel doesn’t stress nor dwell on what is going wrong, she pushes forward to get through it.
With or without man.
Man sees this and wants to be her savior, wants to ease her load.. Not because she needs it, but because she deserves it. Man sees this woman is a queen.. Not a leech. He sees her pushing forward and wants to help her progress, in helping her progress, so does he. He is motivated by her drive, a woman who will stop at nothing .. When many would stop at anything, pout and cry. But nope, this woman keeps her poker face even as her world crumbles, man sees this.. He realizes he needs this. She is a reflection of man. This is better than ego, this is destiny. This is how empires are built. This is how fate is revealed. Only real man can spot the independent damsel for who she is. The imposter of man would believe she is too strong to need a man, too focused to cater to a man.. Dismiss her for the damsel in distress, the one that caters to his weak ego. But the right man, the real man.. Knows this woman is thinking ahead, knowing she’s thinking of the future family she may not have yet.. Her purpose on earth. He can see this. He wants to feed this, feed her. Encourage her growth knowing without even trying she’s encouraging his.
I believe this role is the most beneficial of the two… It’s a harder role to play, but when it’s embedded in you, doesn’t seem so hard at all. It’s like second nature.. You don’t feel right playing damsel in distress, lord knows you tried. It’s not you. You’re independent without man, with man, you’re unstoppable. To have someone of your equal by your side. But you don’t need him to survive. You just need him to continue building, to continue expanding. On both ends.
In life we play roles, we become roles.. The people we attract from these roles we play, play a key factor in our progression or our demise.
You are what you attract.