I’m entering an extremely selfish phase in my life, and it’s for the betterment of my life. I have to devote every waking moment in my work, which is me. Internally, externally, and my creations. I’m not reaching out to anyone, and I hope many don’t take this personally because they aren’t the reason for this choice. I personally have things that must be done, and if this can be understood, great. If not, not my problem. Technically 2 months left. (3 if you include October) No one other than me can accomplish for me what I need. And for that reason alone, is why I’m “retreating from society”. I’m no good to anyone if I’m not at peace with myself. – string of my tweets from the other day..
With that being said, I know I’m going to ruffle some feathers being that I’m always over extending myself to people around me, now it never appears that I’m over extending myself because I’m really good at concealing that, I’m always there for everyone when and where they need me… But right now, I need me more than anyone else does. I have things that I have to get done and over extending myself is not going to help that.
Now what people will fail to realize, is that this is okay. I’m not changing or becoming distant. I’m just giving my all and then some to me, for the betterment of my growth and progression.. But many are so consumed with their own lives and my role in it that they will take this season of selfishness personally… That’s selfish in itself. It’s not about you, it’s about me. For once in my life, it’s really all about me, if I leave it up to others, it will never be about me, just what I can or can not contribute to them. And that doesn’t bother me.. It’s a natural human reflex, “I come first”, granted. That’s fine. That’s why I put myself first. Naturally I do, but again as I mentioned, my overextension for others often puts me in a bind that only I can pull myself out of because I’m the only one aware.
I’m not upset nor will I allow any negativity towards my season of selfishness to settle within me. I know why I’m doing this.. I know what it’s for.
We all have to do this at one point or another.
I have to fulfill my purpose and I have to be on point on all levels and in this selfish season, I will complete that. Once I’m right on all aspects within myself and everything surrounding myself.. My true blessing, what I’m working for, what I deserve will come to me with such ease.. I’ll be able to embrace it with open arms, a smile and know it’s time. I’m truly ready.
Now this doesn’t mean I’m hiding out in a cave with no form of contact, it’s not that intense, although I do go through short periods where I retreat into my cave but that’s naturally me..
This season of selfishness doesn’t mean I won’t be around, I will but just not as much.. Only for special purposes: Holidays, big events. Etc.
What this season means is, I’m working overtime on me and what I want, at all times.. If that can’t be understood.. Again, that’s not really my problem.
This the season to be selfish, it’s getting colder..
The holidays are approaching. The year is ending… Shit is real.