My teas gone cold I’m wondering why… I gotta out of bed at all, the morning rain clouds up my window.. And I can’t see at all.
It’s Monday. I had an amazing weekend as far as relaxation and good company is concerned. Thanksgiving is on Thursdayyyy yes. Great food, family, love and liquor .. Can’t forget my herbs. can’t wait.
I don’t have a fear of death .. I used to, naturally we’re taught to fear it mainly because we don’t know where we go, (the fact that living people try to push this heaven and hell theory but never died is irrelevant to me) .. Until we die we don’t have any clear solid proof of where we go… But that shouldn’t scare us, if that’s the case.. We should fear life as well.. We have no clue where life will take us, yes to a large extent we can shape, mold our lives into what we want.. But that’s just including everything life throws our way.. We just swing with it.
I think about life, and how death is inevitable.. The last stop on this earth train… I think about how before I opened my eyes for the first time, my memory is blank on what I was before I ente(red) this body… I think about how the sun too, will die (millions of years from now but still) … And our entire existence as we know will cease to exist … It’ll be like we were never here. So are we really here?
What’s the point of all this then? Why go hard to live and love, why bother if it’s all gonna be left behind us once we leave this greenish earth?
Because we’re here NOW.
And now is all that matters. Granted our actions now will mold the future we see shall we live to see another day. That’s why NOW is so important. It’s all we have in a sense, the past is behind us never to he retrieved again… The future a maybe, only there if we make it through the now.
You would think my acceptance of death will steer me astray to alll I plan to achieve but nope it’s more of an incentive, because I’m going to die I want to live… I want to live and build things and people that will last long after I leave… I want my death, to carry my legacy in a way my life couldn’t. To reach those not born yet.. To reach those who are dead within, all those I can’t reach in my lifetime.
We’re dead much longer than we’re alive.. With that in mind I want my life to mean no more to anyone than it does to me. Everyday I awaken blessed and grateful of all I have, all I am and what’s coming to me.. I work towards my ideal life with a smile knowing that in a millisecond… All of this could be over. I could be crossing over to the next realm.. To my next phase in creation, I believe spirits travel.. To where, only one way we’ll know for sure ..
Sometimes I get the anxious nature like I’m running out of time and others I feel I have alll the time in the world.. I don’t want to die young physically.. I’ll be young forever in spirit. But I would love to reach old age, have great grandkids and school them on life over tea and some weed.. That’s ideal for me, but will it be real?
Only time will tell.