Hateful 8….

8 days left of the year……..
Are you ready for the grand finale?

Side note: watch hateful 8 again.

Shit real motherfuckers!

While the holidays creep up on us, and this NYC weather is scarily warning us for the winter ahead… I want to reflect, per usual.

2015 was such a great year for me for many reasons….

I went through serious life expanding motions.

I took more risks.

I met creative deadlines.

I learned so much.

I grew through mistakes.

Its funny to me how in the moment I’m absorbing more than I’m observing my own actions… I really move on my feelings but I don’t move emotionally. I’m very methodic. Its evident in retrospect and this year has highlighted the methods behind the madness.

I gotten deeper in my feelings… Which is awesome. So fucking great to be understanding of what it is I deeply feel and using that knowledge pai(red) with logic to progress my self development.

In the next 8 days I have two projects I’ll be releasing. I’m very anxious about that being that I am so excited to share these two completely different vibes.

12/24/15-12:24am

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An erotic poetry collection poems/ poetic short tales surrounding the depths of time.

12/31/15 – 24 for 24: Year of the Muse

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Short film highlighting my spoken word album about the muse behind it all. 

Check for those on LustyinLavender.com

I consider 2015 to be my freshman year… I am in school again, but this time around, I’m a student at Life university with my craft as my major and a minor in humanity.

That being said, this is the final.
8 days I’ll get the grade…

My sophomore will be vicious, my freshman certainly wasn’t friendly…

I’m focused mannnnn 🙂

Shit real.

The Olympics games are now: your progress is preserved or wrecked in a single moment.

There’s no reason to fear anything let alone failure, way I see it… You can always make it right by doing something better.

Don’t sweat small shit when you know you’re destined for greatness.

As long as you don’t stop.

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Structure. 

The month of July is over..

4th quarter is here. 2016 countdown starts now. 

I think about structure and how that in itself is structu(red) and how society and our surroundings/influences create the outlines on how our structure should be built, and sustained…. If we allow that. 

Now, I say that to say this, all my life I’ve been looking for a structure that fits me, a structure that can sustain my ever growing foundation and allow me to grow and prosper as I am meant to do. But the problem with that is, I’m already complex, and a lot of social structures (the forms of it we are exposed to anyway) are one sided, one dimensional (ironically contradicting the definition of structure but I digress).. And that’s not going to EVER work for me. For I am not one sided. Never have never will. Now that I see that clear as day, I move on to think of the ideal structure for me, using multiple aspects of several structures I already explo(red)/studied to create that.

What amazes me most about my mind, is that if I can’t find it, I will search for ways to create it. You can’t tell me something doesn’t exist, no matter how true it may be at that moment; it’s only a matter of time, thought, and execution to make it a reality. 

It’s a long journey I’m on and to save me from insanity and stagnancy I have to switch it up, I feel like consistently altering back and forth in many different ways that still prove to be very efficient is perfect for me. I get bo(red) doing the same thing over and over which in turn decreases the level of energy I put into it. But as long as the end result is at 100 how I go about it doesn’t have to be the same all the way through. All that matter is the level of effort and work put into it remains the same. No matter what that is.

I’m getting close! Goddamn it I’m almost there! It’s such a good feeling. I’m pushing through and as these next 4 months are my witnesses, I’ll reveal more. 

I just want to get it right for me. 

In getting it right I can do more, say more, help more. And that’s all I ever want. 

24 for 24. 

I’m 24 years old, with 24 hours in a day to make mine as I wish it to be. 

You have the same 24 hours, the same 4 months before this year is up. 

Instead of thinking of all you can’t do, all the time you don’t have.. Look at these next few months at all you can do, all the time you have on your hands. And play with the structure of your life, break your months down and set your goals and go for it. Really go for it!

I mean you have nothing to lose. 

Worse case scenario: you’re one step closer to realizing your goals. 

Best case scenario: your goals are now reality. 
Shit real. 

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Connect.

Happy New Year.

First Monday of the year, hello 2015.
Hope you all enjoyed your holidays with your loved ones. I sure did.

This year I plan on turning up the intensity to another level.

This weekend during my kickboxing class (finally got into that, super excited) my instructor said something that she might as well screamed directly into my ear: “It’s not what you do when you have energy, it’s how you push through when you get ti(red).”

It spoke volumes to me. One being that I was exhausted and wanted to stop but I pushed through, two it reminded me of all the things I don’t do when I’m ti(red).. Which then trigge(red) passages from the art of war this amazing book about resistance and distractions… And everything connected at that point.

I have to keep my form as straight as possible and connect every shot and jab, I can’t allow my lack of energy be the reason I can’t run on E.. It hit me, if I can give 100% when I’m exhausted, imagine how much more I can give when I’m fully charged and revved up.

I realize and am reminded many things on a daily basis.. I’m fully aware.

Life will drain you. I won’t allow it to keep me down to the point I can’t create or work on anything I choose to.

I’m working though, it finally sunk in what I have been doing wrong, to me… And several conclusions were made which resulted in solutions that I will put into effect, some have already been put in motion.. Very excited.

I’m in a good positive place, although mentally I go back and forth in heated debates often.. Negativity has minimal say.. It’s more constructive criticism, it’s more of just balancing everything out. Looking at both sides and all corners just to ensure that I’m solid.

This is the first quarter, to many, but to me .. It’s the first half.

From here to June. It’s playoff time, giving everything my all and then some making sure I am on point every step of the way, and in the event I stumble, I will have my impeccable balance to keep me from falling.

Happy Monday, happy week, month, year …
Make the most of it for yourself.

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