I get lost in my mind, some days I don’t know what day it is, let alone the time… I gotta check in every now and then to make sure I’m not deterring off track while on auto pilot…
The thing about autopilot, for me anyway, is the fact that you’re progressing at a slow steady rate.. So you don’t crash while you’re getting mind right.
I feel my mind is right maybe a little too right which is why I tend to get lost up there often.. I lose track of time, as if I had a good sense of timing to begin with. So I check in. It reminds me of reality and what I’m dealing with.. It reminds me to pick the pace up and get to work ..
There’s so much I’m working on, projects, life and myself especially.. I don’t want to pace myself but I know why I have to.. I know why things are moving the way they are, allowing me time to get ready. I don’t want to say I’ve wasted time, I don’t believe in waste.. I believe I utilize my time to the best of my ability at that moment, granted I can always do more with my time, but I’m getting there… It’s a process, knowing me I have to follow this speed now to accelerate in the future.
I’m proud of myself though, yes there’s times where I scold and get on my own back about shit I’ve been slacking on, but I’m proud of the fact that I now improve immediately after that scolding, I’m proud that I’ve become better and still blossoming beautifully on many levels.. I’m proud that I just get stronger and wiser.. My purpose is detailed and I understand majority of the lines, I’m proud that I finally am able to accept what I don’t know as not knowing for the moment… The answers will come as they have been arriving just as I need to answer the questions.
I don’t have doubt. I think that’s the one thing I’m most proud of, I do not have any doubt. Not in me, not with the people around me, not with what I’m pursuing. That’s just a relieving and reassuring feeling … I’m so thankful and grateful I can feel this.
It’s so hard, building something that hasn’t been done.. Or that you haven’t seen being done, it seems far fetched to everyone else who doesn’t visualize what you see, it’s hard to get people to be on board when you can’t say too much and the little you do say can’t be comprehended as a possible reality, this world is full of doubters and I am more than happy to know I’m not one.
I don’t need to convince anyone of anything, never been in that form of business.. What you believe doesn’t make me doubt who I am, what I will attain and create.
I am my biggest supporter and critic for good reason… I truly know everything within me I know what needs to addressed and checked. So I’m on that… Reality checks are so much better for you when they come from you, pure honesty, pure digging and turning every stone over ensuring all that needs to be addressed, is. Sure outside assistance may come in handy every now and then, but no one can do this for you better than you… Believe that. As long as you’re fully capable of being honest with yourself, you can check yourself.