Lust Talk About It – Happy Birthday!

This day last year, (5-15-15) I put my first self published book up for sale: print and digital formats. This is also the day I quit my job.

It’s been a year, and I can honestly say I’m so proud of myself and as I tear up with joy, I also feel restless. I have not fully taken advantage of what I have accomplished. I managed to self publish an entire book surrounding one of the most fickle topics in the Western Hemisphere: Lust. I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself.. Or if I look to those who’ve read my work. 

There’s still plenty who have not read my book. 

There lies my restlessness, I quit my job for one that allowed me to work at my real job: my brand. My book. I just didn’t go as hard as I set out. See, I was clouded, it’s so clear now in retrospect. I let certain things slow me up that shouldn’t have been a factor. I spent time carelessly on these obstacles and confusion that I forgot, my purpose for the whole book.. First, I thought I needed to get it off my chest and spark the conversation.. Now, I know I must mediate it. 

Too many are closed minded, they are terrified at even discussing Lust and what it really means, that’s dangerous. I have noticed patterns in this last year, that scream how much I’m slacking, period. Yeah, I’m working shit out, expressing myself best way I know how to, at the moment. It’s still not enough. 

I had a man approach me about my shirt (Ask me about Lust) just to tremble and shake when I offe(red) a card, he wouldn’t take it, despite his body jerking to do so. It was weird, but it has become normal to me. He isn’t the first person I have encounte(red) this last year who have expressed similar emotions. What does this tell me? They’re sca(red) to give it a chance, they are set in their ways.. 

I won’t force anything on anyone, that’s never my intent. It just fuels my desire to seek understanding as to why, and to explore more in depth those who are fearless of subjects, such as lust. 

I won’t lie, and say I didn’t think I’d be on the New York Times best sellers list by now… I really believe I’m great enough to be in everyone’s bookshelf, can I say I’m disappointed? Perhaps, I know why I’m not there yet. 

I know what I didn’t do.. Despite all I do, I’m very aware of what I don’t do. That’s just as important. 

Being real, between me and you, I will be on it sooner than later, and it won’t be the only list I top. Don’t get it twisted though, It’s never about the list, it’s about the reach. 

Sometimes you reach people in ways that can’t make a list, and it doesn’t belittle the journey if it isn’t tallied up, as long as it’s felt. Deeply. 

As I reflect on a series of recent events, this book has helped me grow, made me even stronger as I kept my both feet planted in the soil I continue to nurture, all while exploring the endless garden of possibilities. Shit is real. 

I’ve had my book compa(red) to the 48 laws of power … The person wasn’t aware of my love for Robert Greene, my heart melted that day… Someone told me, your book so real, to agree with you, I had to be honest with myself first. I could’ve cried. Another actually cried when reading certain essays.. Shit is crazy, someone suggested I remove the religion portion of my book. I get often, how it should’ve been longer (which I take as a compliment) I’ve gotten great feedback and skeptical feedback, all taken into consideration. In this next year, I know where this book will take me, and everyone else who comes across it. 

I’m going harder this year for sure. 

Keep calm stay lusty. 

If you would like to obtain a copy of Lust Talk About it for yourself or a loved one, click the cover below 

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The Art of ‘Holding it down’.

To those who are unfamiliar with the term, let me clarify what hold it down means… Besides the obvious, holding something down, it’s about discretion. It’s about keeping things, especially yourself under your control.

You heard some juicy gossip, hold it down, you and your loved one got into an argument, hold it down, you’re upset about whatever and want to vent publicly, hold it down.

I was raised in a Dominican household and one thing heavily embedded was, family business is family business.. Outsiders aren’t to know what goes on at home by any means. That’s the first taste of holding it down I got.. I’ve been riding with it since..

You would think the art of holding it down would come as second nature to many, but in a society where majority feel they have something to prove or don’t know how to accept loss, everything is out in the open, open to the public. Open to ridicule and scrutiny. Once the public gets ahold of it, it’s out of your control.

Private matters are not private anymore because the art of holding it down has been tainted.

For many holding it down means to repress the issues and be silenced by what and who they endure, suffering miserably. But that’s far from it. Holding it down is just keeping your composure and your poker face ready.. Life happens, that I understand very well, But to rush and exploit things or people in your life whether good or bad to the public when you haven’t even solidified your position with said thing or person is just social suicide.

Understand this, no matter how happy you appear to be, no one cares for it as much as you do. No matter how upset you are, no one cares for why, they just like the show you’re putting on and encourage that to feed their own egos. See the public is a large vulture. Majority are more unhappy than many with themselves so they live for the moments where people can’t control themselves and hold anything down.

To reveal yourself to the public in ways that show you have no control, no boundaries and no loyalty is just disappointing. Granted we all get upset, things don’t work out in our favor, people aren’t what we made them out to be, I get it. But hold it down. Everything comes back around, some way some how. Sooner than later you will find your answers and reasoning and you can move on with your life.. But if you’re leaving a trail of every time you lacked the strength to hold it down, that will forever haunt you and follow you wherever you go. People may stop speaking on it, but they don’t forget. You don’t know what people know of you, what you’ve showed them, what they were told.. Granted you can’t control what’s said of you but you have complete control over what you decide to show, and what you show will always outweigh what’s said. Its not even a matter of caring what people think, but in the real world, people will treat you based on who you show them you are. And if they see you can’t hold it down, you’re an emotional roller coaster, they will either take full advantage or avoid you at all cost. Either way, it’s not good. So imagine the opportunities that can be missed, the funny looks, the future betrayal of others, they already spotted your weakness because you showed you can’t be trusted, you barely can control your own emotions, any little thing will push to the edge, and drive you to put on a show.. And for what?? To feel better? To gain people’s approval? To get it off your chest? There’s better ways.

Here’s 5 quick and easy ways to hold it down.

Write it down/talk to yourself outloud in private.
Take a nap.
Listen to a happy playlist.
Turn your phone off for a day.. Or a few hours.
Be knowing.

Knowing yourself and what/who you involve yourself with makes holding it down much easier. You don’t feel the need to include outsiders in your personal business because you have it under control and if you don’t, you know what you need to do to regain that control, and it doesn’t concern the public in the least.

Mind your business and hold it down.

I’d never steer you wrong.

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