Structure. 

The month of July is over..

4th quarter is here. 2016 countdown starts now. 

I think about structure and how that in itself is structu(red) and how society and our surroundings/influences create the outlines on how our structure should be built, and sustained…. If we allow that. 

Now, I say that to say this, all my life I’ve been looking for a structure that fits me, a structure that can sustain my ever growing foundation and allow me to grow and prosper as I am meant to do. But the problem with that is, I’m already complex, and a lot of social structures (the forms of it we are exposed to anyway) are one sided, one dimensional (ironically contradicting the definition of structure but I digress).. And that’s not going to EVER work for me. For I am not one sided. Never have never will. Now that I see that clear as day, I move on to think of the ideal structure for me, using multiple aspects of several structures I already explo(red)/studied to create that.

What amazes me most about my mind, is that if I can’t find it, I will search for ways to create it. You can’t tell me something doesn’t exist, no matter how true it may be at that moment; it’s only a matter of time, thought, and execution to make it a reality. 

It’s a long journey I’m on and to save me from insanity and stagnancy I have to switch it up, I feel like consistently altering back and forth in many different ways that still prove to be very efficient is perfect for me. I get bo(red) doing the same thing over and over which in turn decreases the level of energy I put into it. But as long as the end result is at 100 how I go about it doesn’t have to be the same all the way through. All that matter is the level of effort and work put into it remains the same. No matter what that is.

I’m getting close! Goddamn it I’m almost there! It’s such a good feeling. I’m pushing through and as these next 4 months are my witnesses, I’ll reveal more. 

I just want to get it right for me. 

In getting it right I can do more, say more, help more. And that’s all I ever want. 

24 for 24. 

I’m 24 years old, with 24 hours in a day to make mine as I wish it to be. 

You have the same 24 hours, the same 4 months before this year is up. 

Instead of thinking of all you can’t do, all the time you don’t have.. Look at these next few months at all you can do, all the time you have on your hands. And play with the structure of your life, break your months down and set your goals and go for it. Really go for it!

I mean you have nothing to lose. 

Worse case scenario: you’re one step closer to realizing your goals. 

Best case scenario: your goals are now reality. 
Shit real. 

Standard

Road to perfection. 

Yerrrrr what the fuck is good WordPress!? 

Lol I’m just really excited can you tell? 🙂 

I’ve been thinking and moving as usual and as I continue to absorb all that surrounds me, I get so inspi(red).. I have so much I want to discuss and give but I refrain for the sole reason I haven’t settled on my delivery. But I can say with great certainty, the time is coming where I’m confident whole heartedly in how I choose to deliver what I want to express. 

Recently, I made what now is appearing to be a big power move. I made an affirmative decision to have more control of my time and it’s shaping out to be the best thing I could’ve done. While I’m still adjusting and figuring out how to divide my time; One thing screams at me: 

Bitch, explore your hobbies

I feel I’m not good at just one thing, I have many different interests, many in which I may have never expressed to others. But I’m so curious as to what skills I can develop indulging in different things that interest me beyond the need to learn them. 
I’m only here for one lifetime and I want to explore as many aspects of life and what it has to offer while I’m here. While I can. 

Idk what the future holds for certain outside of what I’m working towards and continue to shape through manifestation.. Yet every last detail in life can’t be accounted for; but how you choose to spend your time can be, and you are fully responsible. 

My levels of tolerance and persistence keeps rising as I find myself yet again bursting with motivation to continue to push myself to new heights. 

I feel really good. I do not have much worries these days. 

The focus is zoning in deeper and I’m anxious. 

Perfection is slowly becoming to me the meaning of willing and actually going the extent to make it flawless in every way. 

I intend to create perfectIon in all I do.
Shit is real. 

Standard

Pressure.

Do you think a “coal” feels the pressure as it evolves into a diamond? 

I think about pressure, and what it means and how it’s applied, also when. 

I’m at a point where I don’t feel the pressure, but I sense it. I am transitioning into my diamond phase. The pressure doesn’t hurt, it’s motivating. The pressure doesn’t make me feel constricted as some may think, but free and stronger. 

I feel pressure is all on how we look at it. Pressure is a reminder that we are pushing towards something. We’re going against what we know and are comfortable with.. Into what you desire and have no clue of what’s next.  

Pressure is applied to resistance; Resistance that we create by not being all on the same page internally. Meaning mind, emotion, and subconscious has to be in tune to allow pressure to serve its purpose.

You have to determine what the pressure is for, and for the betterment of your wellbeing and lifestyle, you have to know why.

You shouldn’t allow people to pressure you in ways you would not pressure yourself, even if it’s needed, you will need to find a way to apply that on your own; or fall victim to codependency to get shit done, or gather up the courage to do so.

Pressure is necessary, but it doesn’t have to be negative. It doesn’t have to be panic and chaos. It doesn’t have to be applied by others. We all have that within us. We apply pressure everyday as we get on with our lives. 

But I realized when we need it most, we shy away from it. Why? The pressure when we truly need it is when we feel it the most. 

That’s pressure on pressure (lol) and we panic at the idea of having to make a choice quickly… Depending on scenario that may induce fear and complete avoidance of what needs to be done. 

But we can’t run forever. 

Anything done through pressure is more impactful. It’s felt deeply. 

Are you ready to be a diamond? 

Are you ready to face the pressure and allow it to target your tense spots like a deep tissue massage (with hot stones 🙂 )? 
Shit I hope so. 

Shit real. 

Standard

Monday. 

I feel so liberated. 

I got a lot out the way just in time for a new beginning. 🙂 

I feel so good and motivated. 

I feel like a lot of things are clicking, and I’m so happy to have been paying attention. The work load has not eased up but the strength to efficiently get it done is continuing to build and it’s amazing. 

There is no doubt. 

I have so much I want to say but as usual I refrain for I know you’ll see it for yourself soon enough and it’ll click way better than even if I could have worded it [& I’m pretty good with words ;)]. As long as you pay more attention to your life and the signs on your path as opposed to watching signs for others just to see what path they’re on.. Mind your business. 

You have things to tend to. Get on it. 

Since it’s Monday I would love to share this beautiful scripture, well to me anyway. Earl nightingale breaks down James Allen’s ‘As A Man Thinketh’ in a way that still resonates today and this was spoken of decades ago…. Which is both sad and tragic, and it’s only because we don’t share. So after listening to this [its an hour long] if you feel any different, share it to anyone who will listen. That’s all I ask, thank you. 

Earl Nightingale on As A Man Thinketh
Shit real. 

Standard

The Real. 

We’re already in May. 

This past Sunday I had an unveiling for my book (official release date: 5/15/15) with my family and friends in attendance. It was amazing, terrifying and electrifying all at once. 

I never performed for all my friends and family. They loved it. 

Now the event itself had a few minor difficulties which forced me to pretty much wing it but the love felt in that room kept me calm, that was truly a first time for me. Everything about that event was surreal to me. 

I had a science segment on lust, pop quiz after.. Gave the winners these cute ass jars one of my best friends made for the occasion, we did a raffle basket, my aunt cate(red) .. the audience was so into the readings and I could tell they were feeling it. I was so high of that energy it’s just now wearing off. It’s Tuesday. 

What a great learning experience, I had the greatest help, I needed that cause I’m so hard on myself. Even now as great of an experience that was. I am now analyzing my errors and looking for ways to improve for next time, cause there’s going to be plenty of next times..  

When I’m asked, how are you going to make poetry a business? My answer is the experience sells itself.. 

Poetry provides a feeling, poetry is like time traveling. You just have to indulge in it. I seem to be good at intriguing people to do so. 

The biggest realization I feel for me, is just the resonating feeling that this is it. This is what I’m supposed to be doing.. Exactly how I’m doing it. 

The beginning of it all. 

Shit real. 

Shit real. 

Standard

Shit real. 

The things I want for myself I want for others: happiness, successes, self-fulfillment, love all around, a genuine lust for life. 

I don’t care how you choose to acquire those qualities, as long as it sits right with you. Inner peace is priceless. There are many ways to get what you desire you don’t have to go the convential route, what works for others doesn’t always work for you and vice versa. 

You can use the outlines of those whom you admire their hustle and lifestyle, but the reason you admire it is because they love what they do. It’s right for them. So the happiness is a beam of joy that attracts admirers. You too want that joy, but you have to determine which lifestyle, which route is perfect for you, and that doesn’t exclude lifestyles and routes that seem taboo, you can’t limit yourself. 

I do not have my life together, but dammit I’m working on it. I’m content with who I am and am growing to be. I know what I want. I’m progressing and I got a lot of work to do. But I don’t feel right withholding information from people that I feel can progress them in some way. So I don’t. Even as I get my shit together I can pass on whatever I can. I don’t get into much detail, cause it’s really irrelevant, but the outline is enough for you to go searching for more within yourself. I don’t want to wait until after I get where I’m going, to be of any help. I want people to know, we’re on the same road. I don’t give a fuck what path on you’re on, this road of life is broad as shit and we’re all going somewhere. We’re all gonna hit road blocks, traffic and stop signs but we gotta keep going. 

It’s hard. We all tend to feel alone bc honestly, only we know how we truly feel deeply.. Even if there’s someone you tell EVERYTHING to, there’s things you feel you can’t word just yet.. So they don’t know. In those feelings you are truly alone with yourself. Life can become overwhelming but that shouldn’t get you down to the point where you give up. 

The overwhelming feeling is like having an orgasm, a full body mental, spiritual, physical orgasm. 

Think about it. You’re only sca(red) of the overwhelming feeling because you can’t control it and you don’t know where this feeling is going. 

You’re having a breakthrough. Ride it out. It’s for the clarity you so deeply desire. It’s amazing what happens when you listen to yourself, as a matter of fact. Reflect. Think of every time you were severely overwhelmed. Don’t think of what caused it, but the aftermath.. The explosion and the view once the dust settled. Did you move differently after? Did you find an answer or two? Were you paying attention? 

Are you paying attention now? 

Shit real. 

Standard

Good morning. 

Wake up, wordpress, word press. (Lol)

It’s a graduation type of morning, Kanye West at his peak. 

I’m up and wi(red). I feel so many things. As time continues to progress along with my personal growth I realize how grateful I am…. All my questions get answe(red), everything I want to know comes to me in due time. 

I feel like I’m in a particular zone, isolated but I never felt more connected to reality. I can see very clear the transition from thought to thing..

— And I wonder, if you know what it means, to find your dreams come true? 

…. I’ve been waiting on this my whole life. These dreams be waking me up at night.. 

All that I’ve been doing is now proving to be the right thing. I feel I sound crazy sometimes, so these days I’m not speaking much. The crazier I feel I sound, the more certain I become within myself. I just don’t feel like exerting energy on convincing or explaining something that I can’t quite word, but feel so deeply passionate about. 

You ever wonder what it all really means? 

Every minute of the day I wonder, and I get the same answer every time: you’re gonna find out. 

Overall I’m in a good space, I feel so confident and excited for what’s to come, everyday I work on my passion and bettering myself in some way shape, or form. Training doesn’t stop, life exercises you every chance it gets.. Gotta be fit. Get it right, get it tight. 

You get back what you put out, what have you been putting out lately? 

Shit real. And I’m just rambling. 

Standard