Lust Talk About It – Happy Birthday!

This day last year, (5-15-15) I put my first self published book up for sale: print and digital formats. This is also the day I quit my job.

It’s been a year, and I can honestly say I’m so proud of myself and as I tear up with joy, I also feel restless. I have not fully taken advantage of what I have accomplished. I managed to self publish an entire book surrounding one of the most fickle topics in the Western Hemisphere: Lust. I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself.. Or if I look to those who’ve read my work. 

There’s still plenty who have not read my book. 

There lies my restlessness, I quit my job for one that allowed me to work at my real job: my brand. My book. I just didn’t go as hard as I set out. See, I was clouded, it’s so clear now in retrospect. I let certain things slow me up that shouldn’t have been a factor. I spent time carelessly on these obstacles and confusion that I forgot, my purpose for the whole book.. First, I thought I needed to get it off my chest and spark the conversation.. Now, I know I must mediate it. 

Too many are closed minded, they are terrified at even discussing Lust and what it really means, that’s dangerous. I have noticed patterns in this last year, that scream how much I’m slacking, period. Yeah, I’m working shit out, expressing myself best way I know how to, at the moment. It’s still not enough. 

I had a man approach me about my shirt (Ask me about Lust) just to tremble and shake when I offe(red) a card, he wouldn’t take it, despite his body jerking to do so. It was weird, but it has become normal to me. He isn’t the first person I have encounte(red) this last year who have expressed similar emotions. What does this tell me? They’re sca(red) to give it a chance, they are set in their ways.. 

I won’t force anything on anyone, that’s never my intent. It just fuels my desire to seek understanding as to why, and to explore more in depth those who are fearless of subjects, such as lust. 

I won’t lie, and say I didn’t think I’d be on the New York Times best sellers list by now… I really believe I’m great enough to be in everyone’s bookshelf, can I say I’m disappointed? Perhaps, I know why I’m not there yet. 

I know what I didn’t do.. Despite all I do, I’m very aware of what I don’t do. That’s just as important. 

Being real, between me and you, I will be on it sooner than later, and it won’t be the only list I top. Don’t get it twisted though, It’s never about the list, it’s about the reach. 

Sometimes you reach people in ways that can’t make a list, and it doesn’t belittle the journey if it isn’t tallied up, as long as it’s felt. Deeply. 

As I reflect on a series of recent events, this book has helped me grow, made me even stronger as I kept my both feet planted in the soil I continue to nurture, all while exploring the endless garden of possibilities. Shit is real. 

I’ve had my book compa(red) to the 48 laws of power … The person wasn’t aware of my love for Robert Greene, my heart melted that day… Someone told me, your book so real, to agree with you, I had to be honest with myself first. I could’ve cried. Another actually cried when reading certain essays.. Shit is crazy, someone suggested I remove the religion portion of my book. I get often, how it should’ve been longer (which I take as a compliment) I’ve gotten great feedback and skeptical feedback, all taken into consideration. In this next year, I know where this book will take me, and everyone else who comes across it. 

I’m going harder this year for sure. 

Keep calm stay lusty. 

If you would like to obtain a copy of Lust Talk About it for yourself or a loved one, click the cover below 

Standard

12:24am — Mr. Big Man

Merry Christmas eve! My gift is a little early. As we await the eBook release, I decided to share one of the poetic tales.

MR. Big MAN.

“Oh Mr. Big man… Ohhh Mister Big,Man…

Where are you? ..”

she sings on the phone, she hears him moan,
‘baby, I’m here…’
“no, I don’t see you, I can’t feel you.. Are you real Mr. Big Man?”

She taunts him, His blood begins to rush… Now he’s on his way, she knows what to say, to lead him wherever she lays… so she waits, Mr. Big man busy, doing big man things… but he always finds his way to make his baby sing.. those tunes he loves so much.

Such seduction oozes from her pores to his, when they’re in tangled, handling their business.. Oh Mr. thick dick, how fulfilling is he to Ms. wet pussy.. it’s an even exchange, no need for change. Cash it in, stocks are high… Their portfolio is so exciting.. What an alignment, they play each other’s consignment, money just buys them time.. And they spend it on each other every time, cause truth be told.. they don’t really have the time.

Mr. Big man doing his thing, Ms. Wonder woman creating new things..

So in these moments, it’s just them.

Fuck where they at, Fuck their phones… Fuck everything that isn’t them. They have a contract to fulfill, no thought of ever breaking it, fuck a prenup, or a license.. Their love was timeless, it’s obvious.

Those moments apart, out of sight out of mind? HA! Out of sight, flooding the mind, tickling the spine.. Pushing your memory to the point it could cry, but they have to live their lives… Can’t be constantly intertwined, how else will their love age like wine? The time apart, makes the union much more rare.. makes their presence much more there.

They each feel closer, they’re almost there..

Almost to the point of a full union, they’re both roses from concrete, almost to full blooming..

It’s useless, to deny what is right in front of our eyes…

“Mr. Big Man, Mr. Big Man… Oh I how missed you”, she mutters as she kisses his skin, caressing his limbs, this was the life for him.

He knew no one else could understand him like she did, care for him as she did… push him to the deep end, only to take him higher than before..

He was her Big Man, the only man she ado(red). What a score, he certainly hit the jackpot! And brewing in it was her endless love and passion, she was everything he could ever want, no need to ask him.

He wants nothing else than to have her long term, til death do us part? No. He wanted her beyond that…

He wants her in spirit, so she never has to question if Mr. Big Man leaving.

He breathes for her, she can hear it..

“Oh Mr. Big Man, let me let you in on a secret. This is the realest, deepest love I’ve ever known.. from your breaths, to your moans.. to full ownership from a loan.. I’m yours, take my soul when your body ditches yours.. wherever, whenever.. I want to thrive in the pleasure, of having you next to me, in the afterlife…”, she kisses him with such intensity, he can feel her words still lingering with power from her lips…

He stares deep into her eyes,

“Listen to me, You’re forever with me deep on the inside, your love will keep my spirit forever alive”..

Let me know how you’re feeling that, and check out LustyinLavender.com for a copy. 🙂

Shit real.

Standard

Art view.

20140804-104049-38449326.jpg

What do EYE see when I look at this painting?

I see me.
I see my brain lavender from the intensified lust I have for knowledge and wisdom, I see my ego in the outline of a man.. I see the garden as my flesh, constantly blossoming through seasons. The scenery reflects my ever so vivid imagination, the little birdy in my ear that won’t shut up about all the stuff he’s heard but knows I need to hear it.

In essence, I see my reflection.

Standard