Hey high. 

It’s been a while… I’ve thought of you often… it’s not that I don’t have anything to say, I just don’t know where to start… what to leave out. 

Shit is real. Yeah I’m high as shit… regular.. I’m more open though, I’m very happy with how open I’ve become and how much has opened up for me as I continue on this path of mine. 
I’m in a pretty fucking great space internally… new grounds that I’m eagerly exploring, revealing the growth from where I once fea(red) my unknown potential…
See you are all you think you are, yet that’s not ALL you are… you are more. Way more than you can envision for yourself at this point in time… 

“Don’t be patient, be satisfied.” — to be patient means you’re waiting, and on your journey motion is constant… to ignore the motions will always make you feel like a patient in a waiting room. Pay attention, be satisfied knowing the signs are revealing how all you desire and work towards are unfolding for you in ways you couldn’t imagine… twice as better, you get to see it come to fruition, what are you waiting for exactly?  
Keep Calm, it’s all working out perfectly. 

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No fool..

2nd quarter is here. 

The next three months are crucial. 

I’m going to take my approach to another level I have many things for May planned and literally less than a month to flex, so let’s go. Let’s get it moving. 

I’m still feeling so weird. But I must prove to myself this is it. 

Halftime is 2months away 

Shit real. 

Don’t be a fool and think you have all the time in the world, while you’re dreaming. 

Action overrides intent. 

It doesn’t matter what you intended, it doesn’t matter what was supposed to happen, what happened is what it is. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Let’s be smart and wise about life and ourselves, first and foremost. Shit gets realer and we must remain diligent with our discipline. 

I will master this. 

Practice while I preach, long winded, for longevity. 

I do what I want… What do I really want? 

Time to find out. 

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March MADNESS! 

I am in great spirit. I know you can feeeeeel the vibes. 

First quarter was a bit rough, had to come to terms and flex a bit on a few aspects of my life. I withdrew from everything and dug deeper than the last time.. 

I am now ready for this second quarter. 

We are in March. 

March – April – May 

June is half time.  (6/12)

The irony that it’s also my birthday. 

(25 on the 10th) 

Shit is real. 

The first quarter help prep me for this second coming of Cris* it has already started off smoothly, and will continue to roll out as such. I’m taking a trip this week, and it will be everything I need. 

I’m so aware, it’s nerve wrecking. I’m calming myself and maintaining that sense of cool.. By reminding myself of where I’m coming from, and where I’m going. Where I’m at is just another step along the way. Also, weed helps. A lot. 

I’m working on myself as I work on everything else, per usual. I feel better. 

It’s a lot going on, a lot I could be distracted by .. I’m focused though. I love that even my distractions are still things pertaining to me and my goal, it’s just the timing of the thought or act is not in alignment with what I’m doing right now. What needs to be tended to now, has to be the focus, to make what is attempting to distract me, no longer that. 

Distractions are funny though, we choose what we allow to distract us.. So in a sense, our attention level of energy that we refuse to use for the task at hand yet so helplessly wander over to something that’s for next month. 
Is it that we deem the distraction more important, bc it’s not the task at hand?  The task at hand seems done as you get through it so you allow yourself to be side tracked? Is a distraction merely a revelation? Only we know for ourselves. 

I say all that to say this, 

The thought is just a thought until desire makes it an action.

You are your desires. 

Are you focused? Are you doing what you desire? If not, what’s distracting you? Are you taking the steps needed to live the lifestyle you deeply desire? 

You know what time I’m on .. I wish you all many blessings I know you feel the shift as well. Act acccordingly. 

Shit real. 
Ps. If you are in the NYC area, March 24th stop on by my reading #LustHearIt we will read from 12:24am and discuss the concept of time and personal experiences and opinions on the content of the collection.. More info and RSVP link below 

#LUSTHEARiTRSVP

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Sweetheart,

We hardly talk, I’ve been doing my thang… I know I’ve been foul baby, ay bay, lately you’ve been all on my brain … Yes Ye.

Helllo WordPress. I’ve been running, and while I have the clarity I might as well speak as I catch my second wind.

Time has always been my teacher, I’m always fascinated at the lessons, homework, tests and experiences time provides me with.

Time is relative. To everything.

Read that twice, maybe three times if you have to.

I’m learning what time means to me in spirit, is different from what it means to me in flesh….. Which explains my wisdom. Physically not much time has gone by, I’m only 24…. But my soul and mind has experienced eternities I could never put into words. 

What does this mean?

Everything and nothing.

When I realized how time differs internally and externally…. I started moving different….I’m a bit faster… But I gotta catch my breath. I gotta let time keep up with me just as much as I’m keeping up with it.

Its confusing at first but the deeper you play with time, reflecting on past, present and future.. Living, reliving and analyzing… Taking note of it all, shit starts to click.

Its a pattern.

We as humans become so emotionally invested in each interaction with time … We become so engulfed in the experience we don’t pay attention to what’s important…

The fact that its happening. Whether good or bad. It’s happening. It happened. We get so worked up with WHY is this happening, when why is ALWAYS revealed later, when the timing is right …. Correct me if I’m wrong.

What’s important is, how is this happening to me? …. What is exactly happening ? Who did I give the power to make this happen? … And apply that to past experiences, you know so clearly now. Apply that to current ones, your perspective automatically changes…. When you rephrase your questioning of time’s circumstantial placement for you… You see more why than if you literally asked why? …. Like a teacher, time gonna show you how, who, what and where, … Why is all of the above. That’s why.

That’s really why.

We go through shit because we have to … Its apart of our journey, our path to wherever our soul desires. Time is what we make it, to measure it is cutting it short.

We focus on the wrong things..

Time is a teacher, who doesn’t cater to our childish tendencies… Stern with discipline to master patience… Wisdom is only attained with experience… Time provides you with every experience you NEED to better you…. How fucking lucky are we really?? We just think of what we want to, learn, embody … Life will call on time…. And walllllllahhh BOOM! You got it. The people, the scenery, the ambience requi(red) to make this moment here, possible. All you have to do is LIVE THROUGH IT.

Bitch, you better get the fucking jewels.

TIME NOT FUCKING AROUND.

the finals come sooner than you think, and the test will be your life…. How well will you know it? What will you have to show for it?

Don’t get caught slipping, they don’t want you to value time and all its lessons.

Shit real… And I’m just rambling.

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Free thoughts

I’m attentive … I’m calm.
But I’m drained.

I’m ti(red) of containing myself …
I have to do so while I lay down my foundation and create the balance I so deeply yearn…
But its tiring.

I’m ti(red) of having to be closed and distant, contained and restrained. So what this tells me… I must move quicker. I must become stronger to utilize my energy and all I have to do and still be able to feel free at all times.

Shit is real.

October is slipping by.

Keep focus.

Keep going.

Get your rest and do what you gotta do.
Despite this petty nuisance, I am in a good space.. Creating a better space

I’m learning, I’m grateful and for the most part … I am at peace. Thankfully.

I have too much up my sleeve for release … Gotta keep an eye on the clock.

Its only a matter of time…. All in due time.

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September.

Its the first of the month yallll!
A full 30 days this month.
How you gonna act?

…… We got three months left of the year. Fourth quarter is here.

So here’s the plan.
Focus on a goal for the month. ONLY.
Clear your mind.
Remove distractions.
Remember to remember.

My problem, I have too many things I feel I have to focus on … And that’s not realistic right now. So I’m picking one clear goal for this month and attacking all the way through. Now, my approach may differ from yours as even our goals may vary … But that doesn’t matter, what matters is we remain focused, resilient, and consistent with our effort, on a daily basis. Set reminders, vision boards, calendar list, whatever the fuck you need to be reminded of what it is you’re after, for some reason… It’s easy to forget, get side tracked. Go extra hard to stay on track.

Alot can happen in 30 days.

I want what you want for yourself as bad as what I want for me. And its badddddd.

So…. Let’s get this show on the fucking road. Shit real. Don’t act like you forgot.
Who call the shots?

Shot clock ticking. 
Don’t wait until the end of the year to look at the scoreboard.

Do what you gotta do to remind yourself, nobody built like you… You designed yourself.

Your life. Your choice.

Shit just get realer.

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Money money money munneyy

The smartest thing I could have done was not get direct deposit. Only deposit whatever amount I may need for debit purchases (online) now before I would do direct deposit for the convenience but I would swipe swipe my ass broke. I would withdraw here and there and not keeping tabs on how much money I’m spending … I’m broke. I need to be aware of where every dollar goes, to ensure its being used for my progression and happiness.

I’ve been educating myself on money and taking notes from my studies to be financially responsible.

I’m not cheap, but I can’t spend freely like I’m at my billionaire status when I’m not there yet. But I can budget better, I can be more conscious and think long term fiscally like I do for my everyday life..

I do not care for money. I just care for what I can do with it. So I’ll spend like I know I’m going to make it back, and I always do … But its not what you make, it’s what you keep, and, what that does for you.

Warren buffet said, until you manage your emotions, do not expect to manage money.

That shit echoed for the longest cause I knew I was still learning how to manage my emotions and my nonchalant behavior makes it seem like I know how to manage my emotions, but I’m not all the way there yet, I just am very good at managing my outburst and when/how I choose to express it which is different but that’s another topic for another blog post.

But back to money.

I’m on the tightest budget I’ve been on ever and I’m surprisingly happy about it. When I had more money I spend more stupidly and now that I have to tighten up for all the right reasons this gives me a chance to really get it right, once and for all.  If I can finesse small, there’s no limit to how I can finesse.

I cash out, and physically look at my money and divide what I need from what I want and its working so far, I feel different. I’m still new at this but I’m focused and am determined. For many reasons.

Look at your relationship with money, what does it tell you? How do you spend, save? Do you even save? What does money mean to you? What does it do for you? Are you a slave to money or do you have a tight grip on the reigns? If a slave are you willing to do what it takes to change your role?

Shit real.

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